Peter van Montfoort Click here for Dutch translation
‘Blasphemy is an epithet bestowed by superstition upon common sense. Whoever investigates a religion as he would any department of science is called a blasphemer. Whoever contradicts a priest; whoever has the impudence to use his own reason; whoever is brave enough to express his honest thought, is a blasphemer.’ Robert G. Ingersoll (1833-1899)
Alarming news! In the Year of Our Lord 2010 the government of the Irish Republic, no doubt inspired by those who for many decennia sexually abused children entrusted into their care, has finally and without as much as a democratic referendum, plunged its inhabitants back into the Dark Ages. Unbelievable, for a country situated so near to western civilization you might think, but it must be true. For even Reuter confirms it, although in perplexity. From now on, the so-called crime of blasphemy in that retarded society can be fined for up to the heavenly tune of 25.000 euro.
Come to think of it, this should not surprise us really. For in a country where bishops always condoned the Holy Sacrament of Priestly Penetration and the responsible authorities just as casually ignored the habitual hoisting of habits to sexually assault horrified little boys, leaving them tainted for life, of course just about everything is possible. Even degrading one’s own country to ridicule without realizing it.
Let us have a closer look at this terrible crime of blasphemy.
First of all, to the uninitiated, let me introduce the alleged victim and his fans. Christians have since impressionable childhood been persuaded by others who were either similarly indoctrinated or lusting for power, that a mighty god lives in heavens, whoever and wherever that may be. He has been there all his life, which knows neither beginning nor end. One day in that infinity of time, probably fed up with being alone all the time, and out of sheer boredom, he decided to create this universe and this world, with everyone and everything on it and in it, and has never been heard of since. I won’t go into the details here, they might bore you. Better myths exist anyhow, see for instance Homer and the gods of the Olympic.
This god, so Christians are told, is not only eternal; he’s also omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent and infinitely wise. And above all, he loves us! What more could one want? However, let him tell you that himself, since allegedly he had a book written about him:
“However, if you do not obey the LORD your God and do not carefully follow all his commands and decrees I am giving you today, all these curses will come upon you and overtake you: You will be cursed in the city and cursed in the country. Your basket and your kneading trough will be cursed.
The fruit of your womb will be cursed, and the crops of your land, and the calves of your herds and the lambs of your flocks. You will be cursed when you come in and cursed when you go out.
The LORD will send on you curses, confusion and rebuke in everything you put your hand to, until you are destroyed and come to sudden ruin because of the evil you have done in forsaking him. The LORD will plague you with diseases until he has destroyed you from the land you are entering to possess. The LORD will strike you with wasting disease, with fever and inflammation, with scorching heat and drought, with blight and mildew, which will plague you until you perish.” (Deuteronomy 28:15-22)
And so his gooey love letter goes on and on and there’s a lot more of it, but you will get the drift of it by now. Nevertheless, in this context of blasphemy, all this sweet loving is beside the point.
It is the “omnipotence” and 'all-science' we have to consider. Let us look into this from the point of view of the believer. One would take it for granted that they would trust that such an omnipotent being could very well take care of everything himself, without help from others. After all, you can’t beat creating a whole universe on your own, now can you? So, if a mere human rubs him the wrong way, he should be very well capable of punishing the culprit himself, don't you think?
And yet, this is the point where even staunch believers apparently begin to lose some faith. Clearly, in their heart of hearts they are not entirely convinced that the Almighty can take care of himself, so they want to take it upon themselves to punish the infidel, in his name of course. However, it is reasonable to forgive them for this flaw in their belief. For no-one has ever seen anyone anywhere being punished for blasphemy, not by the Almighty himself anyway. Unavoidable, horrible suspicion creeps up. Could the clergy perhaps have been misleading them? Small wonder the pious get so excited about this, this must be a terrible disillusion after all this talk of omnipotence. Then how much more of what the clergy has always been telling them could also be false? Naturally, those feelings have be suppressed, for believers are not allowed to think for themselves, heaven forbid. So they are told that those thoughts are inspired by the Devil. As a result, then there is nothing left to vent one’s feeling of bitter frustration at seeing the “Omnipotent” being impotent after all, except calling: ‘Hang the infidel!’
Now let us have a look at the problem from the inside. What is in it for the perpetrators of the greatest and most successful scam of al times? The answer is obvious: Power and money. Of course they know full well that the whole system is based on a figment of barbaric imagination by some nomadic Hebrew tribes, who were roaming the deserts many centuries ago. Gods galore at the time, and no decent gang of barbarians would be seen dead without their own model; gods were in fashion before science was born and before man, by research and clear thinking, found reasons for many of the phenomena he observed every day. However, proven facts are not as profitable to exploit as superstition. So the men of God kept promoting the idea of this figure of fiction, proclaiming that he was the cause of all one could see and more, and claimed they could communicate with him, and yes, he was male, and yes, they could read the innermost thoughts of this unknowable being, and yes, he had ordained them exclusively to make his will known to all humanity. Needless to say, “his will” proved to be rather profitable to these self-appointed servants. Today, this still holds true. Religionists see undeniable proof in it for the everlasting and unchanging majesty of their god, but the more rationally inclined see it as the distinguishing characteristic of nothingness.
All through the ages, the clergy worked industriously to improve the standing of this nothingness. They invented many characteristics to attribute to it, to make it look more real. Adjectives as: Almighty, Omnipotent, all seeing, all knowing, merciful, benevolent, anything was attributed to him as long as it had positive appeal. Of course, no intellect required here, one could subscribe anything to nothingness; it is hard to distinguish the blue non-existent from the red one, the point was to make the idea stick. So the myth forming commenced, and was finally laid down in a book, instantly proclaimed to be holy by the publishers. But the one gigantic flaw in their sales pitch could of course never be remedied: to show the very existence of the central figure. No matter how many adjectives they allocated to it, they failed to blow life into it.
To cover up this gigantic pitfall, the clergy had to resort to pure terror tactics. In the Dark Ages this was not difficult. The Roman-Catholic Church had won almost complete power in Europe, about just as much as the Church has now regained in the Republic of Ireland. They instituted their criminal institute the Inquisition. Suspected opponents were first cruelly tortured and then burned alive; that would teach them to respect not just the non-existent, but also and above all to respect the clergy. Alas, those means are no longer available; despite religion, civilization has progressed too far since then, even in Ireland. So, worldwide, the clergy had to come up with a new idea to protect their business. And this they found, and they called it blasphemy. Robert G. Ingersoll left us the above apt description of this tool of the church. “A crime without a victim” as former preacher Dan Barker puts it.
Now, as we all know, it is impossible to prove the negative of, for instance, Russell’s orbiting china teapot, pink flying alligators in outer space, the famous Flying Spaghetti Monster, or the god of the Hebrews. Even so, I have thought of a way to at least show to all that all adjectives the church has given to the non-existent are just that, adjectives, no more than that. Therefore, I will combine two very important ingredients of religious myth into one test: the power of prayer and the sin of blasphemy. For those who do not pray daily, an explanation. This god of the Hebrews is very insecure, so he likes a bit of groveling from our side. You may join me in prayer now, and substitute your own juicy personal particulars for mine if you so desire. Here we go:
“Dear Merciful and Eternal God in Heaven, Thy Illustrious Name be praised, please answer this plea of your humble and sinful servant who is unworthy of your Infinite and Infallible Goodness. For in a long, sacrilegious and sinful live I have blasphemed Thy Divine Name almost incessantly, and yet this seems to have escaped Your All-seeing attention so far. So now I beg of You, not just for myself but also for all other infidels, for a Manifestation of Your Omnipotence. Please Dear God, strike me with Your lightning now, sitting behind my desk in midwinter, wouldn't that be spectacular enough to convince all infidels? If You do, I will then forever praise Your Holy Name in the hereafter. Let’s synchronize watches: it is now 9th of January, in the Year of Our Lord 2010, at 15:38 CET. Come on God, be a devil (excuse the pun), You can do it! Amen.”
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Dedicated to all the brave atheist men and women in Ireland who dare stand up for reason against overwhelming odds in that deplorable country.
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More by this author:
➤ 'The negative effect of church on society'
➤ 'The glorification of an instrument of torture'